*Visit to Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy*
Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy (IMTD) hosted Dr. Susantha Goonatilake on September 12, 2007. He shares his ideas about the perennial conflict and the role of non-governmental organizations in Sri Lanka. First of all, he demonstrated that Sri Lanka is situated in the nexus of the trade routes for Asia and Islam world. In the history, Sri Lanka has been an important port and trade station for the foreign fleets. People from various ethnic groups and of different religions have been living in harmony. According to Dr. Susantha Goonatilake, 80% of Tamils live among the Sinhalese. He stated that there is no conflict on a people to people basis. For example, all the people went to the Buddhist temples to seek for help and comfort no matter what religion they have. The temples took care of everyone who came and asked for help. From the structural level, the conflict was introduced from Southern India. However, he did not define the root cause of the conflict.

As to the role that foreign non-governmental organizations can do in Sri Lanka, Dr. Susantha Goonatilake asserted that the countries which tried to do good to Sri Lanka actually fueled the conflict while he recognized the contribution of NGOs like CARE, one of IMTD partners. Norway has given humanitarian aid in Sri Lanka. Nevertheless, he argued that there is proof that Norway funded the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE). Norway and the other foreign NGOs arrived in Sri Lanka and they get in touch with the intermediary group instead of the public. The information is filtered and selected by the intermediary group, and this forms the information and the news people get from the TV in the Western countries. He called this relationship between the NGOs and the selected groups “Neo-colonial relationship,” which is the topic he explored in his book, Re-Colonisation: Foreign Funded NGOs in Sri Lanka.

*Biography*
Dr. Susantha Goonatilake was first trained in electrical engineering and later received a PHD in sociology. Dr. Susantha Goonatilake is a Fellow of the World Academy of Arts and Sciences. He is a former General President of the Sri Lanka Association for the Advancement of Science.

Dr. Susantha Goonatilake has taught or researched among others at the University of Exeter, University of Sussex, UK; Columbia University; New York; New School for Social Research, New York; Institute of Developing Economies, Tokyo; University of Philippines, Manila; University of Trondheim, Norway; University of Linkoping, Sweden and the Institute of Social Studies, The Hague. He has worked at the UN. He has also being a senior consultant for all the UN organs dealing with knowledge and science and technology issues.

His recent book, Re-Colonisation: Foreign Funded NGOs in Sri Lanka, deals with the role of foreign funded non-governmental organizations (NGOs). There is a growing awareness that they serve as a powerful structural influence which impacts on both organizational landscapes and civil society. In this context, he studies the political economy of NGO activity in Sri Lanka, a country which once had a vibrant democratic tradition and a functioning civil society. He contends that focused NGO penetration into the country began in the 1980s simultaneously with the growth of the authoritarian state. He claims that subsequent NGO activity in Sri Lanka has had a deep impact on visible civic life, drawing the conclusion that the work of foreign funded NGOs actually undermines “locally grown” civil institutions.
 

*Project Progress*
I attended a conference on Monday, 24 September 2007. The topic was “Right-sizing the People’s Liberation Army.” Although it is mainly a military subject, I still learned quite a lot and I think the information will be useful for the China-Taiwan Dialogue. First of all, the project was a collaboration of think tanks, individuals, the military and the private sector. The private sector made it clear that the study was to estimate and evaluate the military expansion and capability of China, and this study is important to avoid the military misunderstanding and conflict between the US and China. Secondly, Taiwan-US relationship is the focus of the Chinese military because China sees Taiwan Strait as the most potential and imminent armed conflict in the future.

As to the networking, I am not very successful with the Japanese students at SAIS last week. I will need to find the Japanese Student Associations in Georgetown University and George Washington University. I am still working on the flyer and the detailed agenda.

*News about North East Asia*
Six Talks Postponed (09/18/2007)
China announced that the six-party talks will be postponed. The Chinese unofficially negotiated with North Korea to hold the talks, but Pyongyang has not informed Beijing about whether North Korea will attend the talks. Two weeks ago, experts from the US, China and Russia visited Pyongyang to talk about the dismantlement of the nuclear facilities.

Taiwan’s Bid in United Nations (09/19/2007)
The UN has rejected 14 previous bids to join the world body under its official name, Republic of China. President Chen proposed to hold a referendum on joining the UN under the name of Taiwan. The referendum will take place next March. Amid the anger from China and the disapproval of the US, the ruling party still held a march to back the UN bid on 15 September 2007. It seems like DPP, the ruling party, is trying to use this debate to boost its support in the forthcoming presidential election. However, the UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said that Taiwan’s bid will not be accepted because in 1971 UN chose to recognize People’s Republic of China as the only legitimate representative of China to the UN.
 

le 24 septembre 2007
上星期五（九月二十一日），我們在宿舍辦水餃會，因為星期六要舉辦七十多人的亞洲晚餐，我們星期四提早買好材料準備星期五要包四百顆水餃。晚飯過後，正在廚房裡面幫忙，突然看見Annika走進廚房，在驚訝過後我緊緊地抱住她，很高興看到從德國過來旅行的她。Annika在2006年春天搬進來International Student House（國際學生之家），一起搬進來的還有她同學Maria，她們是德國人，來DC做六個月的實習。我暑假去了牛津，回來美國的時候她們兩個實習已經到尾聲，兩個人常常消失去旅行，所以沒有機會跟她們多相處，她們兩個很甜很友善，常常碰到我就會摸摸我的頭還有聊天。我很喜歡她們，所以去年十月份她們要走的時候很捨不得，她們也一直叫我去住她們家，很可愛的兩個人。

關於Annika的回憶一部分跟薄荷茶是連在一起的。去年聖誕節前到Annika家作客數日，因為我的飛機從漢堡（Hamburg）降落，但是Jason說他會很忙，似乎我去他那裡也不方便，剛好Annika跟Maria住在漢堡，Annika很熱情地說會來接機然後我就住他們家就好了。她爸爸媽媽都是醫生，媽媽Mechtilde很忙不過還是很盡心地花時間帶我去漢堡遊覽，她帶我去港口看船跟她30年前到漢堡的時候住的青年旅館。聽說漢堡人有一句話，「一旦進了漢堡，一輩子都不會離開了。」大概是因為很美麗也很熱鬧吧，漢堡是第二大城市，Annika爸爸在漢堡出生、求學然後就業，這輩子還沒有離開過漢堡去其他地方生活。我那時候想，不知道這樣是缺憾還是幸福，我肯定是需要一直移動的，去世界各地體驗跟探索，但是現在感覺我是一個沒有家的人。台東的家有點不像自己家，雖然我要回去就可以回去，但是我呆在家裡的時間真的少得可憐。我很期待自己可以有一個家。（因為這樣我就可以自己設計跟規劃怎麼擺我收集來的小東西跟裝飾啦！）

Annika家裡愛喝茶，我也愛喝茶，剛好還蠻搭的，不過我平常喝的茶都不出各式各樣的紅茶、綠茶還有白茶，他們家喝的是薄荷茶，是沒有咖啡因的花草茶。我很少喝薄荷茶，通常只有在法國家裡媽媽會在晚餐過後泡薄荷茶給我喝，因為薄荷幫助消化。前幾天聽說薄荷茶可以舒緩感冒症狀，現在薄荷茶榮登我的最愛之一。到了Annika家，她倒給我一杯熱茶暖手，一開始喝沒有感覺出來，後來才聞到薄荷香，覺得有點怪怪的，因為還沒有吃飯呢。後來知道了她們家把薄荷茶當三餐飲料，吃早餐的時候也是配薄荷茶，讓我大開眼界。也因為Annika家的關係，我愛上了薄荷茶，Jason帶我去Penny Markt買日用品的時候，小豬就非常堅持要買蜂蜜跟薄荷茶，Jason好像還說：「你自己買的要自己負責吃完喔！」我很喜歡在餐後喝薄荷茶，感覺不像是紅茶那麼強烈，但是卻有讓肚子比較不會脹脹的功效。我喜歡把蜂蜜塗在麵包上或者加在優格，希臘的優格就是加蜂蜜的呢，配上奶茶，這樣的早餐最幸福了。

回到米國之後，我開始把德國的生活習慣移植過來。很幸運地，我在Whole Foods逛的時候發現了我在德國的時候用的蜂蜜，因此我現在是德國蜂蜜的忠實擁護者。米國跟英國學長寄來的薄荷茶就是讓我不滿意，德國的溫和很多，但是在這裡買到的都有點嗆鼻，不想麻煩Annika寄茶葉給我，我只好將就米國的薄荷茶囉。

最近看到一本很有趣的書，叫做【三杯茶】（Three Cups of Tea），是講一個美國人去巴基斯坦蓋學校的故事，剛好跟茶有關，下次再講點我的心得好了。上班去也！
 

le 20 septembre 2007
平常我跟狗狗爭寵，Jason對狗狗比對我好，對寵物真的很呵護，不過他似乎很有動物緣，動物都喜歡他。Jason到我家來玩的時候跟我家的虎妹相處地很融洽，不過Jason對上我家的奇異果就束手無策了，Kiwi看到他還是要兇一下。我偷笑很久，Kiwi妳還是蠻會顧家的嘛！

最近常常覺得自己在跟蝦子爭寵，Jason喜歡上釣蝦，每天都去釣蝦，所以比較少在網路上遇到Jason，也沒有辦法談心。短暫的相遇，講的話題有限，問候之後能說什麼呢？最近MSN常常有問題，我常常無緣無故斷線，也常常收不到別人留的離線訊息，暗暗討厭起這樣的MSN，MSN是個討厭鬼，偷偷把訊息吃掉了，還是他根本沒有傳訊息給我？我怎麼知道他是不是有留給我呢？我怎麼確定我的離線關心他是否有收到？有天早上，我醒來之後登入MSN，發現他那天沒有傳離線訊息給我，一股惆悵爬上眉頭。原來我是隻被制約的動物。

我不喜歡這樣，可是我無能為力。

他說得對，不想再因為我花費很多時間在網路上，不想坐在電腦前面無聊找事做來打發時間。很有道理，我贊成，我人在美國是我的選擇，他也沒必要把自己綁在電腦前，如果他這樣不開心，我也會不快樂的。釣蝦不是壞事，我沒有權力說什麼。C’est quand même meuilleur que de horribles choses qu’il a fait. 至少我是這樣安慰自己的。這是他的生活、他的嗜好、他做的選擇，只要他是快樂的，我似乎沒有什麼好說的。

只是沒有給我時間，只是沒有給我心思。他有在努力，他說我可以跟他約時間，他說他可以花時間陪我，他說可以一起用行事曆，我心裡卻是陰霾一片。我這樣豈不是給他很大的壓力？感覺這樣的他很勉強自己，明明很累卻要關心我好不好。行事曆用了還是見不到他，一個禮拜可以聊天的時間依舊，加上我是個任性鬼，不喜歡情侶相處還要約時間的感覺。我是得長大，學會體貼這兩個字怎麼寫，我也該停止抱怨了。到頭來，是否該檢討這一切都是我的錯：如果我不是在美國，我們的生活是不是會比較好一點？至少我可以陪他去做他喜歡的事情，這樣就不會覺得我被忽略了，一起去釣蝦就不需要跟蝦子搶人，還可以吃到Jason的愛心蝦蝦。呵呵。
 

寫了一個備忘錄給大使老闆，周記也交了，其實工作都還算好，每個星期一要交周記所以會有點緊張，平常日子就是研究議題看東西，另外有點繁瑣的事情要處理，像是要在前面值班當總機小姐（我在國際學生之家已經訓練有素）還有要處理私人捐款的入帳，不過這都是一種辦公室的學習囉。上禮拜大使老闆要我連絡他的好朋友呂秀蓮耶．．．嗚，我要怎麼寫信給副總統？

*Project Progress*
I am hoping by the end of this week I can finalize the agenda and do a flyer for the Japan-Korean Dialogue. The Dialogue will take place on October 12, 2007. I now have asked around the students whom I met and talked about the mission of IMTD. It seems that a lot of foreign students are interested in what we are doing so it is a good start.

On Wednesday, Dr. Susantha Goonatilake came to visit IMTD. He shares his ideas about the lasting conflict and the role of non-governmental organizations in Sri Lanka. It was an interesting talk. He stated that there is no conflict on a people to people basis. For example, all the people went to the Buddhist temples to seek for help and comfort no matter what religion they have. The temples took care of everyone who came and asked for help. From the structural level, the conflict was introduced from Southern India. However, he did not define the root cause of the conflict. A memo is attached to this weekly report.

*News about North East Asia*
Japan Prime Minister Shinzo Abe resigned on September 12, and his sudden resignation caused an earthquake in the Japanese political landscape. He caught the other politicians and the analysts by surprise. Abe has been under the pressure of quitting since Liberal Democrat Party lost the upper house elections in July. The opinion polls did not favor him. According to BBC, it is possible that his party LDP made a deal with the opposition party Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ). The speculation is that the LDP offered Abe’s resignation in exchange of the support of DPJ in the support to US military in Afghanistan. The day right after Abe’s announcement, he was hospitalized due to some stomach problem. The LDP will meet on 19 September to choose a new leader and Taro Aso maybe the future Prime Minister.

While the 2008 Olympics is gathering momentum, China and Taiwan appeared to be close to an agreement this month on the island's role in the torch relay that will deliver the Olympic flame to Beijing. However, the negotiation seems to be fruitless now. The cross-strait political disputes also amplify because Republic of China, Taiwan, tries to apply for the membership in United Nations under the name of Taiwan.
 

le 15 septembre 2007

Eriko跟我去西班牙玩兩個禮拜，這是三年前的事情了，不過現在想起來那種快樂跟驚奇就像是昨天才發生一樣。Eriko跟我是在Sciences Po上課的第一天認識的，我們兩個開始聊天，我跟她說：「你的法文好好喔，你在哪裡學的？」他也問我一樣的問題，所以他跟我講她法文是她當交換學生的時候學的，我就說：「我也是耶！」我就說我是扶輪社的交換學生，是高中的時候去的，她一個大喜，說：「我也是耶！」然後我就問她是哪一年去的，在哪一個城市，真的很巧，她居然跟我同一年在法國當交換學生，不過我們不是同一區的，所以沒有碰過面。她問我是在哪一個城市，當我回答我去的是Angoulême的時候順便講了我同一個城市的扶輪社好朋友Hidehiko跟Erica，結果她眼睛變超亮的，「天啊，Hide是我最要好的朋友耶~~~」所以大家就在學校大廳看到我們兩個小女生瘋狂地亂叫擁抱。這就是我跟我好朋友Eriko第一次見面的故事。哈哈，好像有點沒形象齁。

在巴塞隆納（Barcelona）的時候，我跟Eriko住的是一個日本家裡。他們家有三個小朋友，爸爸則是在日本學校教書，媽媽是家庭主婦，小朋友上的是西班牙文跟Catalan的雙語幼稚園，一家五口很努力地在適應西班牙的新生活。Eriko跟他們認識很久了，這家人是Eriko爸爸教會的朋友，所以到了西班牙之後，Eriko跟年輕媽媽有時候的話題就是居住在國外的體會跟教會的生活。因為我是全家裡唯一一個不是日本人的傢伙，當時沒有參加討論，不過Eriko跟我講到一些讓我很有感觸的話。日本的教會很用心，或者是家裡奶奶很體貼，他們都會收到每個禮拜牧師（Eriko的爹是也）的講道，那個媽媽說平常在日本的時候都覺得沒怎樣，聽主日崇拜也是這樣聽而已，但是來到西班牙之後，感到特別有感觸，體認到自己非常需要主的支持，每次聽牧師講道的時候不知道為什麼潸然淚下，感覺到親近主真的很美麗。Eriko當場也說她也有類似的感覺，一個人隻身在外，反而更珍惜與主親近的時候。後來他們講到原因，也許是因為在國外，不管在日本的朋友跟家人如何關心，有時候明明雜事煩心，有時候明明很孤寂，有時候明明有千萬言語，都化成一句：「我一切都好，請別操心。」不想讓朋友或家人煩惱，在國外的我們盡量都不講自己的憂慮，但是同時這樣就少了支持，一個人自己把話往心裡堆積，感覺特別脆弱，也許上教會還有祈禱就是給我們一個管道，因為牧師講的話好像每句話都是在解開你每天自問自個兒的問話，每一句都講到心裡，感覺有一個人一直耐心聆聽，他敞開雙手環住你，忍不住哭泣。

在米國這裡，我幾乎每個禮拜都去教會。在ISH（國際學生之家）這裡沒有我在台北的教會，所以我比較常去的是另一個傳統的教會。這教會的牧師是有名的帥，有一次一個老奶奶說牧師講道跟他的容貌一樣帥，還說大概很多女生都是來看牧師的吧，當場覺得牧師果然是師奶殺手啊~~他講道的方式真的很帥，跟我的台北胖牧師有得比，他們都會從日常生活中的經歷引申到對主的追求還有一個基督徒的生活。我前兩天聽他講道，哭了，感覺像是他聽到我心裡的疑惑。

他那天說的主題叫做Cool Table「坐在酷桌子」，酷桌子是高中的時候，有名的校園人物坐的桌子，如果你跟這麼酷的人坐在一起，隔天八卦的對象都是你，「喔，你跟XXX是好朋友喔？」牧師談到一些很重要的事情，不過讓我感動的是，他講到如果跟主一起坐不是最酷的嗎，為什麼要在意別人如何想你，大家怎麼定位你、怎麼評斷你都不重要，重要的是主耶穌怎麼看你，重點是他知道你是怎麼樣一個人。「你要知道主愛你。」牧師說：「我們常常覺得不敢坐在最尊顯的位子，像是坐在教會的最後一排，最好選在暗暗的角落，離主遠一點，這樣大家就不會看到我們，因為我們會自問：『我是不是不值得？不值得坐在前排？不值得主的愛？』」可是世俗的位子不重要，重要的是主知道你相信祂。我的眼淚流出來，是嗎是嗎，你愛我嗎？在日常生活中，我好想知道Jason喜愛不喜愛我，常常覺得不確定或是疑懼，在教會裡我常常覺得主一定覺得我很不虔敬，一定覺得我做了很多錯事，你真的愛我嗎？我值得你愛嗎？Am I worth it ?

那天我口袋沒有一毛錢，在捐獻的時候好想要躲起來，可是想到我的胖胖牧師說過，他說主沒有說不捐錢就不愛你，主不需要你裝闊，給多給少不會影響你的信仰，你給你想給多少就給多少，不需要愧疚或是覺得丟臉。關於錢的事情，突然想到胖牧師說的，在困難的時候就禱告，主會安排供給你所需要的，他說：「要相信主，到最後一刻還是不要放棄，祂會幫你安排好，給你所需要的。記住，他會給你所需要的，但是不是給你想要的。」牧師說，如果我禱告要一百萬，是沒有用的。嗚，那禱告可以中樂透可以嗎？

在異地的教會生活跟在台北還是不一樣，但是每次上完教會那平靜但是充實的心靈是不變的。感謝我的家人、我的信仰還有Jason給我的支持，金錢上的給予與心靈上的陪伴。接下來，希望Jason跟爹地媽咪一切安好，生活愉快，也希望我趕快找到工作，有聽到喔？！
 

我在多軌外交研究所的第二週實習報告，工作一樣沒有什麼進展，新聞倒是看了不少，有種眼花撩亂的感覺。

*Project Progress*
Hailey cannot come to office on Monday as scheduled for she cannot finish her paper. I do not have access to the database which Tammy briefly mentioned about. I will establish my own contacts. For the Japan-Korea Dialogue, I have talked to several Korean students so far. They are not IR students; they will be able to provide some inputs different from IR students. They are interested in IMTD. Don, the American PHD student, showed interests to come. I will do the follow-up.

I took a look at the Kaesong Industrial Park. Kaesong Industrial Park is one of the cooperative projects between two Koreas. Kaesong is funded by Seoul. Currently, 26 Korean companies operate in Kaesong; the Park hires about 15000 North Koreans. The ROK President Lu acknowledged that the most important factor of peace in Korean Peninsula is the economic interdependence. It is indeed a good idea. It is related to the various ways to deal with North Korea. Japanese public might have a different point of view. I will incorporate Kaesong Industrial Park into the Dialogue.

*News about North East Asia*
APEC meeting seems to be inconclusive. APEC meeting in Sydney ended on 9th September, 2007. The two day meeting reached a rather poor result. Two most critical topics on the agenda were the climate change and the Doha round. The leaders called for a conclusion for the deadlocked Doha round after six years of negotiations. Regarding the carbon emissions, the leaders did not adopt any binding target. They wished that by 2030 the increase in carbon emissions will be held to 0.75% if the national output growth is at 1%. This declaration did not satisfy the environmentalists although Australian PM Howard said that it is the best deal under current circumstances.

China ordained a Catholic coadjutor on Sunday, September 9. The efforts were made because China wants to strengthen ties with the Holy See although China is angry at the Vatican’s recognition of Taiwan. China insisted the bishops should be appointed by the government; the Vatican has been showing its dismay. Pope Benedict has recently shown the wish to reconcile with China and accepted that many bishops were appointed by the government. 
 

11 September 2007
At dinner, I was talking to one of my Korean friends, Jisoo about some Korea issues and Korean-related topics. Jisoo is a 23-year-old young guy from Seoul. He has studied English in DC since this spring and he is currently preparing for the English exam, TOEFL. Jisoo is really a nice guy. He told me that he is interested in what I am doing in Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy after I told him about my internship over there. Jisoo even told me that he wanted to participate in my Asian Dialogues although Sangcheol, another Korean friend from the International Student House, told me that Jisoo is not interested in this kind of dialogues.

Since my Japan-Korea Dialogue will take place on October 12, 2007, I need to start my preparation of the agenda and also make invitations to the guests. I am not an Asian studies major; hence, I have to admit that I am not really familiar with the conflicts and the details of the Japan-Korean relationship. In order to get a firm grip of the topics, I need to read for North Korea, South Korea and Japan relations. Upon my arrival at ISH at dinner time, I sat down by Jisoo and asked him questions about the Kaesong Industrial Park. This is basically an attempt to reach a further economic integration between North and South Korea. There are 26 companies operating in this North Korean industrial park; the park is totally funded by Seoul. This park provides job opportunities for about 15000 North Koreans.

I also asked him whether this park is effective, but Jisoo could not answer me. He mentioned that he would love to join the talk because he lacks the vocabulary for this kind of topics. I am very happy for him. An English learner should never limit himself or herself in a certain field of the language; he or she can actually learn more academic and harder terms by joining any kind of conversation like this. It is challenging. I can feel his pain for sometimes I also lack words to fully describe the international relations.

Then, we changed to the topic to Japan and WWII. Suddenly, he showed an interesting opinion. He shared with me some aspects of his thoughts about the War and about the Pan-Asian Union. He thinks Asian countries should get together like European Union; he thinks this would be good for Asia. For me, it is not so optimistic. The US will not want to see a strong Asia for its strategic interests in the region and its hegemony in the world. Is an Asian Union possible? It is quite impossible. At that time, I have to confess that I was a little believer in realism!

Jisoo walked away. I guess he was discouraged by my coward remarks. Maybe I am the pessimist after all. Pardon me, Professor Rosenau. I finally tagged myself as a realist. Haha.
 

le 7 septembre 2007
星期五在家，現在實習申請只做兼職的，所以理論上一個禮拜做二十個小時就可以了，雖然還是常常在下班後準備給大使老闆要的東西，但是不用進辦公室，時間基本上還是屬於自己的。想到吳爾芙的書【自己的房間】（A Room of One’s Own），其實很需要這樣一個時間與空間，人很需要獨處，需要與自己聊聊心事並且沉澱一整天的紛紛擾擾。因此可以在自己的空間裡，不管是不是在忙著做事情，就覺得有種怡然自得的舒適。

難得靜下來，開始著手整理東西，發現自己真的很愛收集一些小東西，像是票根、發票、入場券、餐廳或是名勝古蹟名片，居然還有成堆的糖果紙．．．我的記事本裡面夾了好幾張糖果紙，還有些Jason給我的便條紙，看著就笑了。想到在德國的時候，Jason看到我把糖果紙收起來的時候，他笑笑著說：「連糖果紙也要收集啊？」

衣服罵過我：「你啊，像我老爸，很愛收集沒有用的垃圾。」對啊，我就是喜歡收集一些有的沒有的，不覺得這些小東西很可愛嗎？像是糖果紙，我想我喜歡的是吃糖果的感覺和那個附帶的記憶。不過衣服跟他媽媽都是很精簡的人，沒有用的東西就丟掉，所以每次去衣服那裡都會深深感嘆衣服房間真是乾淨啊，尤其是他真的很規律，每個禮拜會大掃除一次，把不要的發票全部丟掉還有廢紙回收。我則是很興之所至地整理這些回憶，今年夏天回台東的時候，打開一本書突然有東西掉下來，居然是兩年前的發票，是我跟Jason去蓋319鄉護照的時候的發票，還有Vivian在2005年冬天寄來的卡片，有種光陰飛逝的感覺。也許這種隨性，或是衣服說的「不修邊幅」，帶給我的快樂比其他的回憶給我的多。

看到我喜歡的荷蘭咖啡糖果的包裝紙，想到是我冬天的時候去漢諾威（Hanover）的時候看到一間超級荷蘭的咖啡屋買的。平常在巴黎都會去歌劇院區買這種糖果，那間老老的糖果店賣的是那種散裝的，還需要我用小杓子挖，而在漢諾威看到的是從荷蘭直接進口的大包裝，我在德國的街上想念著巴黎小巷子裡面的糖果店。在巴黎，一開始是因為Cordelia的男朋友愛吃這個牌子的咖啡糖，我才開始愛上這個糖果，聽說他都是坐火車去荷蘭買，真是好野人，我則是在巴黎市區買荷蘭糖果。在Sciences Po唸書的時候，坐不住的時候就常常含著這糖果解悶，要不就跟衣服傳紙條，惹他惹到說：「唉，我們去喝咖啡休息一下吧。」哈哈，可憐的衣服。

冬天，Jason要上班，他擔心我在家裡會無聊，所以載我去火車站讓我自己去玩耍。我買了邦票（Tageskarte），要18歐元但是可以做一整天的慢車，我那天早上先去漢諾威四處遊走還有照相，漢諾威真的很漂亮，有馬丁路德來過的大教堂，我喜歡他舊市場改成的新式bobo用餐區Markthalle，我在這個Markthalle吃了奧地利來的家常菜豬肉Schnitzel，還去德國茶館買了好喝的玫瑰紅茶，這茶葉現在還是跟著我，在茶館那裡女主人給了我另外兩種茶糖，也是美味。下午去Hameln晃晃，是德國童話大道北方的終點，沒有停留多久就回去不萊梅（Bremen），入夜時候Jason來接我回去，結束了一天的冒險。

這張糖果紙就這樣靜靜呆在我記事本，背負著兩個回憶，等著我不小心看到它，然後想到很多很多事情，時光就這樣流走了。
 

在IMTD，多軌外交研究所，實習的我每個禮拜二在員工大會中都要做東北亞計畫及時事彙報，這是我第一個禮拜的小報告，看看吧！

*Project Progress
I am gathering some ideas for the dialogues now. I will do the Japan-Korea Dialogue in late September because the last dialogue was about China and Japan. The Cross-Strait Dialogue will be in October and the China-Japan Dialogue will be in November.

*News on North East Asia
Chinese Defense Chief Cao GangChuan visited Japan and his stay lasted 5 days. It is the first visit of the Chinese defense chief to Japan for almost 10 years. This visit symbolized the possibility of a better relationship between China and Japan after the controversial visits to Yasukuni Shine by former Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi. Japanese and Chinese defense chiefs agreed steps to ease military tensions. Both sides agreed to set up a study group for a military hotline and to arrange a naval exchange. Masahiko Komura, the Japanese defense chief, showed his concern about China’s rising military spending. China, meanwhile, has expressed concern about Japan's plans for closer military co-operation with India, the United States and Australia.

*Key Issues*
History: Japan's neighbours think it has not done enough to atone for wartime atrocities.
Trade: Bilateral trade is growing strongly.
North Korea: Japan often takes a tougher stance than China over the nuclear issue.
East China Sea: Beijing and Tokyo disagree over the boundary between their exclusive economic zones.
Security: Japan wants to revise its pacifist constitution, which concerns China. China's military expansion concerns Japan.

As to the Japanese military activities, the navies of the United States, Australia, India, Japan and Singapore have begun a massive naval exercise in the Bay of Bengal. The five-national naval exercise is allegedly an attempt to contain China’s growing power although these countries deny this claim.

The UN spokeswoman Michelle Montas said on Monday that a Chinese general will head the United Nations mission in Western Sahara. Such appointment is the first for a Chinese military leader in UN peacekeeping operations. Major General Zhao Jingmin has been selected by UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon to lead the UN Mission for the Referendum in Western Sahara, which was deployed more than a decade ago to organize a vote on whether the territory should become a full-fledged state or be incorporated with Morocco. According to the spokeswoman, Zhao was chosen for the reason that China has contributed to UN peacekeeping operations but had never led one.
 

le 3 septembre 2007
昨天早上起來的時候，心情不是很好，做了一個很恐怖的夢。Dans mon rêve, Jason a couché avec la fille qu’il a fait la connaissance au Tibet. Quelle horreur ! Cela me dégoûte. 更慘的是，我不用起身就知道我今天會很慘，胸口好痛。右胸很痛，不知道是骨頭痛抑或是其他，呼吸變成一件很痛苦的事情，每口氣都好像要把我胸腔壓碎。緩緩起身，站起來似乎比較不動了，但是一彎腰拿牙膏就痛到眼淚要掉下來，嗚。

因此昨天我都得小心翼翼地呼吸，每次要做彎腰的動作就是一場折磨，看起來應該還蠻蠢的，好像老太太喔，做什麼都很遲緩。打電話給爹地，因為是爹地的生日，他還嫌我沒有誠意：「就只有生日快樂喔？沒有禮物嗎？」跟爹地講我胸口痛，他說下午就會好了吧。（不過我的胸痛到下午還是一樣劇烈。）

好吧，胸口痛有什麼原因呢？我苦中作樂地想著。第一，也許是我胸部二度發育！青春期的胸口痛通常都是因為這個理由，不過我離青春期很遠了，而且我沒有去做針灸所以不可能像Jolin一樣二度發育。換一個理由，也許是我肋骨長骨刺，所以才有那種有人拿筷子戳我胸腔的感覺．．．感覺有點白痴，但是我真的覺得有東西戳我。但是我沒有聽過有人肋骨會長骨刺，所以這個理由也被駁回了。想來想去比較有可能的，其實是唯一的解釋，我胸口痛應該是我晚上睡覺的時候姿勢不對壓到了我的右胸腔，所以才會胸痛。也許是因為做了那個有我男朋友的惡夢導致我肌肉緊繃才會這麼嚴重，我是這麼想的。

上午十點多，Jason還是不在線上，沉迷於釣蝦的他幾乎完全跟我失去聯絡，想到他既然不可能跟我連絡，他也不會早點回來，就放棄了堅持。我去了教會，想想因為回台灣的時候都沒有時間去教會，最近常常覺得心裡不平靜，說不定胸口痛是提醒我要去教會呢。真的愛我的人，他不會不聽我講話，他傾聽我的難過，我也會感受到他是愛我的。「我是不是你珍愛的？」是啊，所以別再哭了。

下午用過餐，先去處理我的手機合約的事情，要從Sprint轉成AT&T蠻麻煩的，經過一番波折之後，還是沒有停掉我的合約，所以今天要再去AT&T更換手機業者。接著跟Ben台灣大哥、晶姐、Cheolcheol、Jisoo跟史華（他是一個很特別的人）去Pentagon City逛街，晶姐說要買行李箱，因為她很需要去休假，我們其他人是陪客。在購物中心逛了一個下午後，買東西的反而是我們這群小陪客。Ben買了Levi’s牛仔褲，一條只要19.9美金，Ben同時也買了AE美國老鷹牌的襯衫。Cheolcheol買了AE的外套，他還挺高興的。我則是買了一件Abercrombie & Fitch的細肩帶上衣，要價13.55美金，在台灣的話也是這個價錢吧，還算可以接受。在購物中心巧遇Acme跟Bella（台灣朋友），所以我們一群人約好共進晚餐，今天吃的是越南菜，我當然是吃pho囉， Acme說湯頭是台灣味，我覺得蠻好吃的，不過這餐廳用的是細麵，我在巴黎吃的都是寬麵，還是比較喜歡寬麵，口感不同。

回到家，在櫃檯當接待小姐，喝了一口老猴學長遠從倫敦寄來的薄荷茶，突然發現：「咦？！胸口不痛了耶~~~」原來血拼可以治胸痛，哈哈。